I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
