Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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