Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
