Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
