Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize