The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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