every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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