I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Enjoy the penises
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
