First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
