I accidentally had phone sex last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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