yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
