Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize