K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
