So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
