Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
