stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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