Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
