DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
