WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
