guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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