I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize