Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
