We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
