You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and she was petting her beer can
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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