come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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