if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I cannot find my penis.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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