he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
