I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
