But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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