did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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