He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
