You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there