YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks