Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
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i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
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Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.