Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.