Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
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I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.