This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
