Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted