If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
