Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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