I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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