if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
