I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
