i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
