You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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