I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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