how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
