he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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