whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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