I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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