i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
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Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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