We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
