Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
