I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
