I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
