$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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