you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
