You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
