he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
