how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
