I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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